Wednesday, March 25, 2015

Will/Will Not

Today I woke up and opened the blinds in the living room to find snow falling. It's a shocking sight to witness when you've been able to open the windows to feel the warming Spring air float through your personal space the previous week. 

In that moment I decided on all the things I will not to today.

There will be no job searching!
--I'm tired of rejection
--I'm tired of being told I'm asking for too much money
--I'm tired of the inference that I should settle

There will be no shower!
--I threw on a sports bra to soak up the under boob sweat
--I dabbed on some more deodorant 
--That's all you get today mother fucker

There will be no trip to the park! I was planning to visit Four Mile Historic Park in Denver. I've never been and the boys are on Spring break so it was a thought, but fucking snow.

There will be no fighting today in this house -between kids- or otherwise. My head can't stand it. Threats are definitely high on the list of probably going to happen but no fighting. 

There will be no fretting about the lack of medication swimming in my bloodstream to treat my aching, dark, black soul. 

There will be no cream for my coffee because --if people are buying the hell out of Bailey's French Vanilla creamer and there's always a bare shelf when I need to restock, why aren't you stocking more? Sweet funky Jesus!

A select few things are making their way into this day though, let me tell you...

There will be cookie baking!

There will be reading! I'm gobbling up the last 75-ish pages of The Beach House today (Jane Green) and nothing can stop me.

There will be a trip to the library (because real books) for more Jane Green (why didn't I know of this broad before?) and my reserved copy of the latest Nicholas Sparks book (my guilty pleasure) and I may even read the entire novel today.

There will be wine and probably a trip to the store on the way back from the library for a shiny new bottle. One glass starts to numb the thoughts and two glasses makes everything just right and fuzzy.

There will be dinner cooking. I'm cooking my way through my recipe board on Pinterest. More gets pinned than tested because OH MY GOD there's so much I need in my life on there. 

And that's a wrap.

It's all I can handle and I don't care in the slightest if anyone has a problem with it. 

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