Monday, October 26, 2015

Some Days are Better Than Others

They say everything it happens for a reason
You can be flawed enough but perfect for a person
Someone who will be there for you when you fall apart
Guiding your direction when you're riding through the dark
Oh that's you and me

You and me we're searching for the same light
Desperate for a cure to this disease
Well some days are better than others

But I fear no thing as long as you're with me


--You+Me | Rose Ave.

***

Every one of us needs someone in our life to lean on. To tell secrets to. To ask for advice. To sit silently and understand what the other is experiencing and know what she needs to move forward. Every one of us.

It is my belief that people with mental illness need this even more. 

Sometimes we're lucky enough to have this person in the flesh. You could go to her house and drink wine or meet up for coffee for no other reason than to be there for each other. 

Not all of us are that lucky.

The people I have live thousands of miles away. These people are always available when I need them. I can shoot out a quick text or pick up the phone (usually text because phone calls mean I have to actually use my voice--I've always been better expressed in written form) and they're there for me. No matter the time of day.

My most coveted friend lives in the land of cheese. We've only met in person one time. We met online over a decade ago and we talk every day. She leans on me and I lean on her. We never judge and only offer advice when it makes sense. 

Snap out of it! Fuck you...

See? Today was a good day! You're not really depressed. Fuck you some more...

Try some exercise! Why haven't you fucked off yet?
 
That's all nothing but bullshit. I would never offer advice like that. There's good advice, there's bad advice, and there's advice that should never come out of your mouth. This is where the whole think before you speak may come in handy. Don't offer do this or try that...don't you fucking think I've done that already? This isn't new information, asshole. 

I've discovered more recently that empty promises suck the life out of me.
When someone offers you help in some way or acts like your friend, then retracts, it stings. Being ignored is even worse. This person tells you to contact them whenever you need to talk, then they don't respond. 

People suffering with a mental illness need to know they're not alone. They need to surround themselves with like-minded individuals. Each of us knows when the darkness is seeping in and we back off. We lurk. BUT, we're still available to those people we said we'd be there for. Gently checking in. Hey, I know you're still existing out there and I'm thinking of you. It's all a person needs sometimes.

When you can't get the hands on hug you need because all your people are in the distance in body, a virtual one will have to do. Often, it's easier to open up when you're not face to face with someone staring you down. It's easier to come clean and truly admit how you're feeling.

The bottom line is this, if you offered to be someone's person, be their fucking person. Don't wait for them to come to you when they need you. We mostly need you and can't reach out, because....She's going to think all I ever do is whine and complain and am a downer. If she thinks that, she's not your person.

Don't offer your friendship if you can't follow through. It can't be one-sided. If you can't contact me once in a while instead of waiting on me to "check in" then don't offer in the first place. It's obvious that you can't handle it. And you know what? It's totally okay....

Don't be a fucker and offer if you can't handle being my friend. I come with baggage. But you know what, friend? So do you. We all do. 




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