Monday, November 23, 2015

A dozen reasons why most of us didn't attend that well planned out 20-year high school reunion last weekend

My twenty year high school reunion was last weekend. I laughed at the people I actually stayed in touch with because they were going, and made fun of them right to them. Because...honesty.

You were all thinking this. I'm just actually saying it---

1- The reunion took place the week of Thanksgiving. How many out-of-towners are going to be able to get to the venue and still get to their destination for the holiday? $$$

2- Um, the reunion was at a bar. One that couldn't accommodate the number of people who actually showed up. Half of you that did actually make it have been complaining about it ever since on social media.

3- Back to the bar...Didn't we do that in our twenties? We're pushing forty here folks. Nobody wants to see that shit go down.

4- I couldn't stand 95% of you when I was in high school. about you put alcohol in my system and have me go over the reasons why?

5- Most of you showed up to play up your fancy lifestyle and platinum blonde highlights and the fact that you walk like an ostrich in those stilettos you never quite figured out. Your life isn't all roses honey-pie. You're hiding in the bathroom like most of us, popping some Xanax to make it through dinnertime.

6- Our rivaling high schools merged. We were the first graduating class of the new school. You didn't know three quarters of the people at the bar, right?

7- Why wasn't this planned at a location we're all familiar with, like say...Holmdel Park. That placed rocked most of our worlds back in the day. We could have, I don't know, brought our families and had a pot luck. Not during the holiday season. And hey, if shit's going well...we could arrange for someone to watch the kids after and meet up for a drink.

8- Stop trying to friend me on Facebook because it's our twentieth high school reunion. See #4 above.

9- Stop "following" me on Facebook because it's our twentieth high school reunion when I denied your friend request. Stalker. See #8 above.

10- Who married a sugar daddy? Who looks like they could use a hamburger? Who looks and acts more fake than they did twenty years ago? That's why you went.

11- Reminiscing about the people who have passed on. You probably only knew he or she in passing so stop trying to act like this was your best friend forever.

12- Cliques. You were in one back then and by the looks of it, you're still in the same circle. Don't. Just...don't.

I'm sorry, do I sound bitter? I left high school for so many reasons and finished at night.

Some have the time of their lives during high school. I tip my hat to you.

I'll keep in touch with the people keeping it real to this day. The people who aren't fake. The people whose attitudes haven't changed by any measure.


  1. Hey! Don't jack my idea! See #7 above. Fuck that reunion. Most of the pics I've seen are of people that were shitty to everyone that wasn't in the cool crowd. Next year, buddy....picnic potluck during the summer...not Holmdel, they don't have a good lot to rent with close bathrooms....but it'll be for us normal, non asshole.....well, me and you are assholes, but whatever...all the outcasts and rejects and people that never fit in.

  2. I'd go. I also want in on the asshole clique. I mean, come on now. On Wednesdays, we wear yoga pants (and stay up late watching AHS) and drink.


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