Tuesday, November 10, 2015

I'll Take Social Anxiety with a Side of Humor

Do you avoid social situations because you're not sure what's going to happen? I tend to plan ahead and unfold how the event will go in my head, step by step, to avoid a complete panic attack. This always leads to further anxiety when the plan on which I intended shifts on itself and blows up in my face.

The minute I see two people having a conversation...they're talking about me.

The minute someone smiles at me from afar...what's that bitch thinking?

The minute someone looks at me strange (to me)...I don't fit in here.

I tend to use humor or say inappropriate things to make myself feel less tense. I could be in the middle of a normal conversation, and out of nowhere, "You know, you're mom is a whore, right?"

Seriously. It's my defense mechanism. Usually it makes people go away and I get to stay in my safe little bubble until I can hightail it on out of there and get back home.

I don't want to be this person. I want to interact with people my own age. I just don't know how. I have no filter.

Now kids? They get me. I can say dumb shit to them all the day long and they look at me with blank stares and let out huge laughs. Those are my people.

At my son's last parent/teacher conference I was all, "Yo mama so dumb, she got locked in a grocery store and starved!"

That one got a laugh.

Well I laughed.

This is by no means a guide to tell you how to overcome your social anxiety. I tend to turn to alcohol and bad jokes. Or just stay home. See above.

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