Friday, November 13, 2015

Photo Confessional - The Journey

My son, who is a junior in high school, goes to school in another town than we live in. Every Friday, I drive the whole five miles from work to pick him up in downtown Denver. Every fucking Friday, ten more minutes gets tacked onto the drive. It basically takes me forty-five minutes to pick him up. 

Therefore, I have to self-entertain or I will go bat-shit-fucking-crazy.

When he finally got into the car today I was bored out of my fucking mind. 

I put on my playlist labeled "Awesome Shit" and off we went. Another half hour minimum.

I usually take in the scene of Denver and all of its assholery along the way. As the dark began to hang heavy in the air, I snapped a photo of these two crazies doing a dance. At least they were having fun. 


Then Adele came on and I whipped my hair up high and started to serenade the boy. He wasn't amused but the drivers in cars opposite me totally were.


We made it a few more miles, through the tunnel (for which I yell TUNNEL every fucking time we ride through) and once again, another red light. We caught every light in the city today. Finally I told my kid (who is about to take his driver's test) that we were going to play traffic light suicide because....why the fuck is this taking so long - - there's wine to be had! He was dumbfounded until I explained that it meant I wouldn't be stopping for anymore red lights. Because...life lessons.

"Pretend they're green because that's what I'm gonna do!" 

He was petrified. 

Then Journey came on and I'm all...Remember when we used to sing this together? And again, he was not amused. Sixteen year old boys are assholes. So I reminded him how fucking fun I am...He won't stop believing anytime soon, y'all. 

As we pulled into home (goddamn finally) nothing other than One Direction came on and I was all....That's what makes you beautiful! I couldn't understand why all the neighbors were staring but then, oh yeah, the windows are up and they can still hear me.

We got out of the car and the kid took all of the junk mail to the dumpster. On his way back, while some folks were walking their dogs, I yelled to him. You know, to see if he wanted me to sing further. I bet you can guess the answer was no. It's always no with him. 

This friends, is what makes parenting worth while.

You're welcome!

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