Wednesday, November 18, 2015

Some Need a Cigarette -- I Need Doughnuts

I never arrive more than 5 minutes early for my appointments with Jack. I always get his first of the day and he is always late. But he's Jack so that's allowed.

Would I be scolded today or high-fived? I am not one to high-five anyone but that would be a real treat, coming from him.

Today as we were walking down the long hallway to his office, I told him that I refer to him as Jack Nicholson and he laughed.

"We're from the same part of town!"

Who knew?

In his office I complimented him on the new couch. It was red and homier. The pillows were a nice touch. The same ratty blanket lay draped over one arm. I always wonder if anyone actually uses it.

He took his seat across from me, crossed  his legs, and smoothed back his hair. I took notice of the crumb on his shirt. It looked like he was eating a glazed doughnut for breakfast on his way up to the 10th floor and part of it was sticking around. It was hard to look away.

We went over logistics. It's been about 7 weeks since my last appointment.

We talked about the headaches I was getting when we reduced my medication dose a few weeks ago. The conclusion is that more than likely, the headaches have been caused by situational bullshit and let's go ahead and tap that dose back up. Take it from there.

"How's the depression?"

"Comes and goes. Depends on the day."

"More of the bullshit then probably."


I caught him up on the latest happenings. Happenings I haven't shared here. Happenings at home that are not happy at the moment.

"Sounds like you're doing the right thing."

And I needed that. I needed to hear it from him in his raspy toned voice. It justified everything.

A knock came to the door while we were talking, which never happens. One of the other patients was having a seizure.

That's where we ended today, and I'm okay with that.

For some reason, I was craving doughnuts afterward...

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