Wednesday, November 25, 2015

Why you can shove your Thanksgiving stuffing up your ass!

Most of you are prepping for the big meal right about now.

Some of you are giving that turkey a rub down before putting it in the oven and praying you don't burn it.

Some of you are trying a new recipe.

Some of you are drinking already because you're going to a place you don't want to be today.

I say this...why does everyone wait until this one day out of the entire year (so many fucking days to choose from) to get together with family and share a meal?

First, do you even know the meaning of Thanksgiving?

I'm guessing, no. Your meaning may be different, but that link above? Truth.

You're just sitting around the table, half lit up on wine at noon (and there's nothing wrong with that), stuffing your face because that's what you do on this day.

Why not gather around more often and break bread?

Most will say how busy they are...

What you really should say is -- I put up with your ass on the specified dates out of the year because it's required. Why would I want to get with you more often?

And that, friends, is why Thanksgiving is bullshit. At least you don't have to buy presents for people though. That's a score in your corner.

Think about it. You'll be making small talk with most of these family members...catching up on your job, how the kids are doing in school, the latest movie you've seen. And that's because you don't get together, like at all, to already know the answers to these questions. B O R I N G!

I'm not doing anything this year by choice. My kids are going to be with family and I'm happy for that. We'll be separated for most of the day and at first I was fine with the idea, then heartbroken, and I'm back to being okay again.

You know why?

I prepare a feast just about every night for my family so basically, Thanksgiving year-round.

Maybe in a few weeks I'll put together the traditional food that you're all eating today, just to be different, and to enjoy it with my kids.

One thing? Don't refer to your Thanksgiving turkey as "the bird". That shit is just whack.

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