Monday, February 29, 2016

There's a Storm Brewing Up--I'm Not Sure I Care

It's shifting.

My mood.

I can feel it. 

I'm agitated as fuck and the depression is lurking just behind my eyes. 

I've had a headache all day even though I slept well last night. 

I really don't even give a shit about it today. What the fuck can be done anyway? More medication dose tweaking? My doctor can shove his medication ideas up his ass as far as I'm concerned. 

I called last week for a therapist referral and got nothing in return. I'm too agitated and snippy and pissed off to care enough to call again. The bitch on the other end wouldn't know what hit her. 

I downloaded a mood tracker. I have no fucking idea why. It'll be filled with nothing but red lines from anger and depression and paranoia and I DON'T GIVE A FUCK notes. 

When I'm too pissed off to cry, I know shit is about to get real. 

I have an appointment scheduled in two weeks. I don't give a fuck about it. I don't give a fuck about anything. Huh. Yeah...I really don't. 

Yep. 

2 comments:

  1. Does your psych doc read your blog. If not you should print them out for your next appt. Have someone call for you to get an earlier appt if possible. You calling might be counterproductive. I've learned to do that. If it becomes an emergency, your significant others would hopefully be a good judge, go to the emergency room. Don't worry about what may be, focus on what is.

    ReplyDelete
    Replies
    1. He doesn't read it. It's a good suggestion. I called again today. Wait and see....

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