Wednesday, February 24, 2016

Your Local Pharmacist is an Excellent Resource

I'd like to take a moment to express the fact that your pharmacist is an excellent resource should you have any questions regarding your medications. Who better to tend to your concerns than the person who went to school for years to learn all about prescription drugs? 

I spent a few minutes with my pharmacist yesterday. I expressed my concerns about a new drug my doctor prescribed for me. The first side-effect that caught my eye was the ability to worsen suicidal ideation. For a person who thinks about death and dying every single day, it's probably not the right drug. 

I ended up in tears as I explained to him that while yes, I am a grown ass woman, but....I'm not sure having this in my home is a good idea. Not only could it make my already dark thoughts worse, it could be an easy out for me if left alone with these dark thoughts (the drug slows down your heart rate)

He immediately picked up the bottle from the counter and hugged it to his chest saying...It would be best to sleep on it. Speak to your doctor. It'll be here for two weeks if you decide you still need it. 

He saw it in my eyes. He went beyond my words, beyond my tears and into my mind. He knew it wouldn't be safe on his part to allow me to walk out of that building with those pills in my possession. 

I'm thankful to him for that.

I spent the remainder of the night cooking and pondering the WHY and WHAT of life....

Why should I keep going?
What's the point?
Work, sleep, pay bills, family, eat, work, sleep, pay bills, family, eat....
What the actual fuck?

This is lame as shit!

Am I aware that the majority of the pills I take can end my life if I take "enough". Yes, I am. This one in particular wouldn't have taken much. It would have been fool-proof. 

What's next?

I left a message this morning with my psychiatrist for an internal referral at his practice to speak with a therapist. I'm not into talk therapy, but someone--a perfect stranger, has to give me a list of all the reasons I should stick around. 

No comments:

Post a Comment

Share your thoughts!