Friday, January 4, 2019

The Day After

When my alarm went off this morning, I wanted to throw it against the wall.

I'm not supposed to be here...

I'm not designed to keep going...

Yesterday I was going to take my life but I didn't.

Words of wisdom overrode the plan and so here I am.

Same person.

Same medications.

Same intrusive thoughts.

Same problems.

But I got to make my little boy pancakes this morning and watched him lick the plate. This time I just let him do it.

Today is my older son's last day of work before he hits up the campus at CSU to make his dreams come true. We had date night last night, he and I. Benihana and it was so much fun.

And it's Friday. I get to sleep a little more. Cook good food for dinner. And just try to get out of my head.

Here's to a day that I don't get mind fucked on.


1 comment:

  1. Oh friend. I didn't know that you were struggling like this so much. I am here. I am listening. I am thankful that you stayed. Please reach out to me whenever you need to talk about anything and anything at all. You are needed here. xoxox

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